Friday, 27 March 2009

Wednesday, 25 March 2009

Monday, 23 March 2009

Monday, 16 March 2009

Thursday, 12 March 2009

Wednesday, 4 March 2009

The trouble with skunks is that they don't have common scents.
I tried to get my bicycle to stand up... but it was two tired.
An author did all his writing from a study beneath his house. It was a very cryptic book, but it was at a bargain-basement price, so he ended up with a best cellar.
A chicken in love is poultry emotion.
An official stopped me in the hospital car park to tell me "You can't park here. It's badge holders only"
"But I have got a bad shoulder!" I replied.
Are cardboard belts just a waist of paper?
If you don't pay your exorcist you'll get repossessed.
The shop assistant asked whether I wanted it measured in Pounds or Kilos, so I just told him that either weigh would do.
When ceiling fans were invented, they were considered revolutionary.
Did you hear about the man who dressed up as a baby horse?
He made a complete foal of himself.
What do you call an overweight alien? An extra cholesterol.
A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, "Sorry, we don't serve food in here.
These are my summer clothes. Summer paid for, summer not.
A Zen Master walks up to a hot-dog seller, and says: "Make me one with everything."
Police are searching for a thief who robs his victims by threatening them with a lighted match.

They want to catch him before he strikes again.
When I built the extension to my house, I used as little wood as possible, because I wanted to conserve-a-tree.
Scientists have announced that we have made contact with an alien race who's planet is entirely covered by one gigantic shopping center.

The sceptical scientists didn't believe it at first, but they've now confirmed that it's a mall world after all.
They accused her of stealing the broach but they just couldn't pin it on her.
There's warnings of a new disease found in soft butter.
Apparently it spreads very easily.
I was offered a job making venetian blinds, but I turned it down, because it sounded like a shady business.
When fishermen get too competitive, they start suffering from pier pressure.
A cheap eye surgeon is probably cutting corneas.
Whether it's a pancake or a baseball team, the secret is to start with a good batter.
They asked why I was moving to France, so I told them I had nothing Toulouse.

An old flyer


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