Friday, 5 December 2008
I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a muscle.
A jump-lead walks into a bar. The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything".
Two cannibals are eating a clown.
One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says: "Pint please, and one for the road."
Four fonts walk into a bar. The barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here".
A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Clingfilm for shorts. The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're
Phone answering machine message - "...If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key..."
I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "No, the steaks are too high."
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
Two fish are in a tank.
One says to the other "I'll man the guns, you drive"