Wednesday, 17 December 2008
anyway, some items of interest:
ART A LA RUE
Monday, 8 December 2008
Friday, 5 December 2008
So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give me a lift?" I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'
Guy goes into the doctor's. "Doc, I've got a cricket ball stuck up my backside." "How's that?" "Don't you start."
Two peanuts walk into a bar
One was a-salted.
Two aerials meet on a roof, fall in love and get married.
The ceremony wasn't much but the reception was brilliant.
Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy says to Dolly "I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you," said Dolly.
"It's true, no bull!"
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him? " "Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him" So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down." "What? Because he's cross-eyed? " "No, because he's really heavy"
Man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his head. Doc says "I'll give you some cream to put on it."
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
You see I'm against hunting, in fact I'm a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox.
I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah, I thought "he's trying to pull a fast one".
So I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?". He said "How flexible are you?". I said "I can't make Tuesdays".
He said "You remind me of a pepper-pot", I said "I'll take that as a condiment".
So I rang up British Telecom, I said "I want to report a nuisance caller", he said "Not you again".
I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a muscle.
A jump-lead walks into a bar. The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything".
Two cannibals are eating a clown.
One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says: "Pint please, and one for the road."
Four fonts walk into a bar. The barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here".
A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Clingfilm for shorts. The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're
Phone answering machine message - "...If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key..."
I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "No, the steaks are too high."
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
Two fish are in a tank.
One says to the other "I'll man the guns, you drive"
Found at The Onion.com
Saturday, 15 November 2008
Friday, 14 November 2008
Wednesday, 12 November 2008
Tuesday, 11 November 2008
Monday, 3 November 2008
Friday, 24 October 2008
can swap their zines with one-another.
It also aims to become a vast archive of contemporary zine publishing, existing as both an online catalogue
and an annual exhibition.
We are looking for contributions from people that self-publish their own zine or magazine. Content is not limited in anyway, your zine can be about anything.
When you send us your zines, we'll send you some back. Simple. For more information, please download the form.
When you're ready, send 3+ copies of your zine here:
30 Colenso Road
Friday, 17 October 2008
Thursday, 16 October 2008
Whereas recent comedies such as ‘Knocked Up’ and ‘Superbad’ have shown mainly immature young males dealing with serious issues growing into responsible adults, Nick and Norah tend to celebrate the immature side of things. Although that can be funny it should be done with a sense of sophistication or lack of cliched dialogue. This film was so typical in its plot narrative, its hard not to think that this was already a waste of time. The characters are not likable in the slightest, and seem to be concerned about the most minor problems in the world which include finding a mysterious band’s secret shows, untrustworthy ex boyfriends/girlfriends and chewing gum (a gag that ran out of steam as soon as it started). Many of the problems arise from the characters own doings rather than naturally. However, in this case it makes the characters almost self destructive and spoiled as they feel sorry for themselves without any real valid reason. The story line seemed to drag on towards the latter part of the film, especially since Nick is so twisted around his ex-girlfriend and hoping to rekindle his old love for her, that he failed to see that his perfect girl was right before his eyes all along.
The film does have some redeeming elements, however. The 'hotly-tipped' Michael Cera adds dimension and comedic observations to the otherwise boring ‘Nick’ by bringing up the odd witty one-liner to brighten things here and there. And the chemistry that slowly grows between the two main leads is rather sweet and seems genuine. Unfortunately these good moments are few and far between and do not cover up the flaws. There is nothing special about this film and it would be a lie if one said it wasn't predictable.
And what the hell was Fluffy about anyway?
Thursday, 9 October 2008
HOMO-EROTICA is a strong-chested hairy-arsed man, who originated from Chile.
A man enters the stage.
He is holding a Chicken.
He places the Kitchen on centre stage and exits.
The Chicken is shot dead from off-stage
EXT. BEHIND A FARM HOUSE. MIDNIGHT.
An old man, BUD HANSON, about sixty years of age, born and raised
in America all his life. BUD walks urgently towards the camera.
As he enters into a CLOSE UP SHOT, he bends down to pick up a GUN.
Nearly lost ya there, kid.
Ha-ha.. yeah almost!
Dont'you worry, ill soon put an end to all this mumbo-jumbo
BUD looks into his home, the kitchen light is on and through the
curtains he can see his wife MARY-ANNE, of whom is married over
forty years. He blows her a kiss goodbye and looks out to the cool,
softly swaying cornfields. The MOON is bright tonight. BUD raises the
GUN near to his chest.
I told you so..
BUD fires one shot straight into the side of his head. The gunshot
ricochets violently across the field, the loud band reverberated
between the adjoining farm houses and echoed into the distance.
BUD lay on the floor, his body mishapen as he fell to his death.